@JuanSalton: I don't have a drinking problem, I'm very good at it
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@Tmoney68: I've GOT to get a life stenographer. It'd be great to say, "Betty, read back last night so I can see why I put a skillet on my nightstand."
@truegritrumble: ME: A bear is just an angry couch. PARK RANGER: Sir, get slowly off the bear. ME: *snuggling in* No. It's fluffy.
@BoomBoomBetty: Can’t. Busy deleting 1,500 Black Friday emails from companies I haven’t purchased anything from in 10 years.