@thenoahkinsey: I don't have a gf, but I do know a woman who in the car often asks where this is going so I show her the GPS & she gets mad for some reason.
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@Ygrene: Scientist: Finally, my modeling algorithm 'Predicting Cat Behavior' is complete! Cat: *walks across the keyboard, deleting the file*
@just1fool: After years of failure, the "scientist" that had been trying to create a fake urine nearly went mad after he drank his first Miller Lite.
@davidkenny100: A prankster draws glasses on all the photos In Lois Lanes family photo album... Lois Lane: "this is not my family photo album!"
@theDanLawler: No thanks, newborn babies of literally any species on planet Earth. Come back when you're less pink & rubbery & can loan me thirty dollars.