@KenJennings: "I don't have a racist bone in my body!" --Riley Cooper's girlfriend postcoitus
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@TheToddWilliams: "Your new girlfriend seems a bit, I don't know...bookish?" She has a name you know! "What is it?" ...Paige.
@bobvulfov: BABY FROZEN STEAK: mommy is he coming back MOM STEAK: no honey—get some sleep [rocky walks into the freezer] ROCKY: time to punch some meats
@notalogin: Sex is like lasagna - there's absolutely no reason for it to involve spinach in any form.