@starwarsshirt: I don't have jealousy issues, but I do have "flirt with my boyfriend one more time and I may have to cut you" issues.
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@hamishblake: Would love to see a reality show where they promise the prize will "change contestants lives FOREVER"...and it's a brain swap with a cow.
@Adar79Angie: I let friend's kid call my ex & say "Are you really my daddy?" while I'm in the background yelling "hang up the phone,he doesn't want you!"
@TheTweetOfGod: Things will never get better until you make the conscious decision to lower your standards.
@Dschnoeb: I bet Egyptians were all like "Yo, nobody in history will ever worship and revere cats like we do" and then came the internet.