@starwarsshirt: I don't have jealousy issues, but I do have "flirt with my boyfriend one more time and I may have to cut you" issues.
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@themorris23: In the car and passed by a cop and my 12 year old says "everyone be cool! Act normal!" Expecting that Father of the Year award any day now
@samfromks: White smoke from under my hood means either my starter went out or my car has elected a new Pope.
@KKAlThani: Just banged my toe on a table & kept moaning in pain so much that I made a new Coldplay song.
@d_duhwit: Possum man Possum man Does the 1 thing a possum can Trouble looms Over head He gets scared And plays dead Look out it's just the possum man