@starwarsshirt: I don't have jealousy issues, but I do have "flirt with my boyfriend one more time and I may have to cut you" issues.
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@dlockw21: Therapist: Talk about your friends. Me: Now John at the bar is a friend of mine... T: That's a Billy Joel song. Me: You're no fun.
@miller_tm: Just got an email from dominoes said "easy and delicious" they sure know how to talk to a single guy!
@foodfacenow: At his funeral. I lay my hand on your shoulder. I apply pressure, gently, in an attempt to move you from in front of the snack table.
@LordofScribble: As founder and CEO of YOLO Guaranteed, my first product launch will be fishnet parachutes.