@raniao2011: I don't hold grudges or plot for revenge, I will simply send a bunch of Jehovah's witnesses to your door...on a daily basis.
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@flashember: [Opening questions in a murder trial] DOLPHIN PROSECUTOR: You are a killer whale, is that correct? KILLER WHALE: Yes. DP: I REST MY CASE
@LizHackett: Go to a suburban neighborhood, find the meanest mom with the biggest glass of white wine, and bring her to negotiate your new car purchase.
@dave_cactus: ME: *robbing bank* More like, I'm BANKing on you not tripping the alarm! Haha! TELLER: Haha! COPS: *tackling me from behind* Haha!
@DurtMcHurtt: Her: Stop stalling and sign the divorce papers. Me: *does "the divorce papers" in sign language* THERE I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY