@Jam453Lane: I don't know what I drank last night, but the vacuum is stuck on top of the house.
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@Kirangandhi: HORROR STORY- U are the only one alive in a post apocalyptic world. U tweet and it gets retweeted!
@a_olivia4212: A recent study has found that woman who carry little extra weight live longer then the man who mention it
@CodyJP9412: COP: Do u know why I pulled u over? ME: *looks at the penguin in my passenger seat* God damnit Ralph I told u to put ur seatbelt on.
@MarfSalvador: Me: Forgive me father I have sinned Priest: Get out of my house M: But it's a big sin P: *sigh* Speak child M: I broke into your house