@Jam453Lane: I don't know what I drank last night, but the vacuum is stuck on top of the house.
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@Ygrene: Oh man almost forgot the trash *takes trash out, a nice little sushi place* This is great *sees wife there with the recycling* WHAT THE HELL
@envydatropic: If you arrive home, it's not a holiday, and your driveway is full of family member's cars, keep going.......It's an intervention
@jannable9: People can't drive. Take this guy behind me for example, doing 110 mph with flashing blue lights. What the hell is a ECILOP anyway??
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: I set a record for the rope climb in high school. 4-year-old: You climbed it the fastest? My wife: He cried the most.