@MJMcKean: I don't know who the pun editor of the NY Post is, but the headline PEACHES' DEATH IS STILL FUZZY deserves a citation and/or beating.
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@iwearaonesie: wife: Did you work late? [flashback to me missing my exit because the car in front of me had Shrek on and I wanted to see the ending] me:Yep
@trojansauce: ME: *vaping* FRIEND: is that just a fountain pen? ME: *ink all over my teeth* nope
@Ms612: Am I the only one who runs up on happy couples and yells, "How could you do this to me" and then runs off crying?