@MJMcKean: I don't know who the pun editor of the NY Post is, but the headline PEACHES' DEATH IS STILL FUZZY deserves a citation and/or beating.
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@SarahThyre: During love scenes in a Wes Anderson movie, the sound effects guy rubs a baguette against corduroy.
@AntozWolf: Kinky is when you bring a feather into the bedroom. Perverted is when you bring the whole chicken.
@Mr_Kapowski: Real Estate Agent: Do you want to look at the model homes? Me: I'm flattered you think I'm a model but I'll just look at the regular homes
@GrowlyGrego: My 5yo is a pretty good drawer but there's only so many t-shirts you can fit into a tiny person.