@causticbob: I don't know who you are, but I will find you and I will kill you.
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@Reverend_Scott: Better than a Justin Bieber concert: 1. Being deaf. 2. A rattlesnake bite. 3. Chewing razor blades. 4. Licking a public toilet seat.
@Tuna_Lover: Things to get done: Make coffee, Drive a train high on cocaine, Rent a lion to eat my neighbor's dog, clean up mess from that lion thing.
@lilgapeach30: Girls. Don't get upset if your twitter crush stars a really hot girl or even retweets her cause she is prolly really a dude. Stay calm.
@markhoppus: Someone a few houses over is having a party. I can hear the music and laughter and people enjoying themselves. I'm calling the damn cops.