@HatfieldAnne: I don't know. “Your goose is cooked” seems like a positive. Like someone saying, “Hey, dinner’s ready. We're having goose.”
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@WritePlay: SIRI: Brian, what goes "blah blah blah, I don't know anything, please help me"? ME: Uhh SIRI: It's you. That's what you sound like.
@GreenSmoke_: My girlfriend told me once that I need to be more affectionate. Now I have two girlfriends.
@DrFFurter: Women say they like tall men and I'm probably 6ft 4" in these stilettos and not a single girl in this bar has approached me yet!
@NicestHippo: Two ads? IN A ROW? On this website that gives me access to all the music ever made? I won't stand for it