@Grind_n_Roll: I don't like dictatorships. All dictators should be shot, and if anybody disagrees with me, they should be shot as well.
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@cjwerleman: When Obama declared war on Ebola, an executive producer at Fox News tried to find it on google maps.
@TheToddWilliams: [backstage at GOP debate] AIDE: Mr. Trump needs his hair. CAT: I'm puking as fast as I can.
@KissabiX: Shakira: It's not you, it's me Soon to be ex boyfriend: *looks at her hips* Shakiras hips: It totally is you, you breathe far too heavily
@thejamietighe: Coworker: What book you reading there? Me: 'How To Kidnap A Coworker' CW:... Me: Not you, Karen. A pretty one.