@samalmightysam: I don't like to brag about going to expensive places, but I just went to the gas station.
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@osigat: My boss just choked on a breath mint. It was a tough decision to do the Heimlich maneuver because he really needed that mint.
@OuterJohn: 1) Throw a ball of yarn into a fencing battle 2) Wait until the fight is over 3) Retrieve your fully-knitted sweater
@JaymayAllDay: 1st grade: Color inside the lines. 10th grade: Color outside the lines. Art School: Snort the lines and then go color.
@david8hughes: If I'm found dead in the bathtub clutching a toaster, check for Pop-Tarts before jumping to conclusions.