@KyleMcDowell86: I don't like using the locker room at the gym cuz the guys always stare when they notice my gym bag is filled with lasagna
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@Juicedballs: My wife dared me to yell out "HURRY UP HAYDEN" at Disney World. Now we have 27 blonde boys & 8 girls following us like Children of the Corn.
@Roweboat13G: Some days you're the Titanic, some days you're the iceberg and some days you're that guy who hit the propeller on the way down.
@iLikeCatShirts: Therapist: please tell me a little about what brought you both here today. Wife: We don't talk. Plus he is so literal. Me: My truck.
@GrumpyComments: Stormtrooper 1: You ever think that maybe we're with the bad guys? Stormtrooper 2: Nah, lets just head back to the Death St... to the ship.