@SuperApple80: I don’t mean to brag but I don’t have to stare at my phone to walk into things.
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@ComedicBust: DETECTIVE: What’s wrong, never seen a dead body before? ME: [biting nails] No sir. DETECTIVE: Well biting its nails isn’t going to help.
@egg_dog: facte: you eat 28 spiders in your lifetime. always 28. if you are about to die and you have only eaten 3 then 25 spiders arrive at once
@longwall26: May you never be as bored as whoever figured out that holding a seashell to your ear sounds like the ocean