@JediGigi: I don't mean to brag but I'm pretty lonely for a girl with an extensive action figure collection AND a fear of rocking chairs.
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@Thedudish: It's been so long since I bought groceries, this morning I saw a c**kroach move out. "Good luck," he sighed, clutching his tiny suitcases.
@Douchekevin: When I see babies who breastfeed crying I know it's because they don't have Oreos to go with the milk.
@BadMikeyBad: Remember when mowhawks meant you were a tough punk rocker? Now they just mean that you're 3 and your parents are idiots.
@wolfpupy: ever since i put all my eggs in one basket i have received unsolicited egg advice, you dont know my life, you dont know what im all about