@mattZillaaaa: I don't mean to brag but I've perfected the confused look whenever my credit cards get declined
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@GavsonNZ: To the account who followed me while I slept and then unfollowed me before I woke. My apologies for taking a break. It won't happen again!
@envydatropic: When my friends come over they know to ask "may I sit here" and then we look at my dog to see if it's OK
@pro_failure: I've stopped trying to explain twitter to my friends and now just say,"I collect tiny imaginary people in my phone using jokes as bait."