@Elizasoul80: I don't need WebMD to tell me what's wrong with me, I have my mother.
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@OBiiieeee: "Dad why'd u name me this?" I named u after the greatest athlete to ever live "Oh ok" Now let's go, Air Bud, we're gonna be late for church
@UniqueDude2: ME: WOW! Bigfoot! BIGFOOT: Hey Smallfoot M: U call us Smallfoot? BF: U have small feet M: no, urs r big BF: mine r normal M: huh BF: see ya
@TheCatWhisprer: Accidentally switched the baby formula with coconut milk and now my newborn is complaining that her lullabies are "too mainstream."
@Stellacopter: If you wrap yourself up in a blanket, you can show up to work late and say you were just rescued by the Coast Guard.