@Elizasoul80: I don't need WebMD to tell me what's wrong with me, I have my mother.
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@AndrewChamings: ME: In 1923 W. C. Fields said "It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to." BARISTA: I just need to write something on the cup.
@HiddenPinky: [Home after awful day at work, my dog greets me] Me: At least somebody's happy to see me! Dog: *shakes head, pulls banana from pocket*
@FlyoverJoel: The five years of life you gain by eating healthy are spent preparing healthy food.
@Ivsy01: A guy in line just asked me to hold his coffee and I'm like I'm not looking for anything serious right now.