@JermHimselfish: "I don't see race." -Russian guy in the back row of a NASCAR event
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@somecleverthing: Irrational fear 807: being spoken to by a comedian during their performance. I would die a thousand proverbial deaths and a single real one.
@LizHackett: I want to be rich enough to leave the house-sitter notes like: "If the cheetah looks bored, jog him on the treadmill. He can watch Friends."