@JermHimselfish: "I don't see race." -Russian guy in the back row of a NASCAR event
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@YesitsAl: Wife thinks I was present for every conversation she's had with anyone, ever, and assumes I know what the hell she's talking about right now
@legendofchelda: Having a crush is weird bc one minute you're a normal person and then out of nowhere you're like damn I wanna bake that boy a pie
@TheBoydP: Protip: If you're walking in your office taking deep breaths because someone made popcorn, don't forget to stop as you enter the restroom.