@NikiWithIssues: I don't see the point of being a godmother if the kid refuses to kiss my ring. I mean, what the hell?
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@QwertyJones3: "Yes, I need to check in." "Sir, this is a burn unit." "Yeah, I got hit hard with a series of jokes about my mom, and I had no comeback."
@RunwayDan: Sometimes when life closes one door it opens another, because apparently life is trying to air condition the whole damned neighborhood.
@WheelTod: I used to complain about crying babies on airplanes but last week I was flying, both pilots died & a crying baby landed us on a soccer field
@tbhjuststop: actors kiss each other for like 10 seasons and don't fall in love but when someone holds the door for me i think about it for like 5 months