@NikiWithIssues: I don't see the point of being a godmother if the kid refuses to kiss my ring. I mean, what the hell?
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@GreatestWeight: I can't come into work. I opened a cursed sarcophagus and now I gotta put a pharaoh's soul to rest. I DUNNO, TAD, I'LL PROBABLY BE IN MONDAY
@TheIronSherk: *turns on deep-fryer* *tosses in chicken nuggets* *adds chamomile and lavender* *recites from the Book of Shadows* Voila, Wiccan Nuggets
@internetluke: [friend consoling me through bad break up] "You need to eat, Luke. You can't just sit there" *i start crying more* Karen & I used to eat