@debon7: I don't sit crossed legged to be classy, I'm holding my tampon in
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@KalvinMacleod: [dating game] GIRL: contestant #1 tell me how u would woo me ME: woo like in duck tales woo woo or a different type of woo? G: contestant #2
@BlairLoudly: [end of interview] Any questions for me? Yes. Why didn't the glass slipper also disappear at midnight? YOU ARE SO HIRED.
@Josievorenkamp: When someone starts a Facebook post with "there are no words..." You better get prepared because you're about to read a lot of words.
@Merman_Melville: At my funeral the priest will throw my corpse into the crowd and whoever catches it will be the next to die