@houffy: I don't think the church is going to let me pick music for the bible group again. In my defense, the band name "Lamb of God" is misleading.
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@Flattliner: I wish my wife was better in bed. <sighs> <disables autocorrect> I wish my WiFi was better in bed.
@DaddyJew: Cop: you failed to obey the stop sign Me: I got lost in the music C: what song? M: I'd rather not say C: what song?!? M: I saw the sign
@steveolivas: Asked my wife if I was going to get a "tip" for driving her around today. She laughed and laughed. Apparently so hard, she got a headache.