@FSUSteve: I don't think The Proclaimers realized how far 500 miles really is.
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@AndrewNadeau0: PROFESSORR: So, Attilla’s rise had a lot of unintended consequences. ME: *Raises hand* PROFESSOR: Yes, Andrew? ME: Hunintended. PROFESSOR: ME: PROFESSOR: Thank you, Andrew.
@Instinctivetip: [marriage counselling] Her: he always thinks he's talking to me on CB radio Me: I don't, over Her: It's over Me: It's what? Over
@sarousti: Definition of Insomnia: Finding a spider in your bedroom & when you leave for a second to get the spray & come back it's gone