@Pork_Chop_Hair: I don’t think the water lizards run on the water always. I think it’s a “oh hey I forgot something” or “shit it’s the cops, run” thing.
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@flashember: You, watching House Hunters: this is ridiculous Me, a house hunter: [squatting low to the ground, sniffing house dung] a bungalow is nearby
@thepaulahunt: Bugs Bunny is mostly ears, which makes him a great listener and an ideal boyfriend.
@therealeatwood: JONATHAN EDWARDS: God abhors a sinner and holds him over the flames of hell like some loathsome insect LOATHSOME INSECT: Wow I’m right here
@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: Let's go outside. 3-year-old: No! The deer will eat me. Wife: Deer don't eat people 3: The zombie ones do Wife: Get your dad. Now.