@juliussharpe: I don't understand bow ties. What, is your neck a gift?
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@ThatBrenna: *takes cat from pocket of doctor's coat & holds it over patient* He has finished his scan. He says he doesn't like you & you have cancer.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Just found out there's a bug called the tarantula hawk wasp and I'm like holy shit maybe just pick one terrifying predator to name it after.
@Mom_Overboard: At Dunkin Donuts- 8: Can I get choc. milk? Me: We have that at home. 8: We have coffee at home too... Me: WHO TAUGHT YOU LOGICAL THINKING?!
@PhuckinCody: "so i had the dream again last night," priest: *sighs* again, dreaming about sleeping with the green m&m is not a sin. weird, but not a sin