@Mister_Gravity: I don't understand the big hubbub about missing divers. They're probably just underwater.
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@canadian_jane: I respect strippers because its really hard to dance by yourself and not look stupid.
@Rollinintheseat: If we could harness the fake enthusiasm put towards wishing people a happy birthday on Facebook, we could power half the planet.
@SondraDeeMe: When my boyfriend gives me a hug during an argument, it looks loving, but I'm just patting him down to make sure he's not wearing a wire.