@Lisabug74: I don't understand why I cant lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.
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@feasibleweasel: [At the first thanksgiving] Pilgrims: Im thankful for the land you gave us Natives: we didnt give you land? Pilgrims: *winks at the camera*
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Show me a woman in a Tweety Bird t-shirt and I'll show you a woman who shoplifts in the grocery store.
@bombscribe: If a coworker has two apples in his right hand and two oranges in his left hand, what does he have? No chance of blocking an uppercut.