@Black__Elvis: I don't understand why I keep getting denied for bank loans because I have good credit & I'm only asking to borrow like four or five banks.
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@samfromks: My wife and I have been dieting together for a week so it'd probably be safer for me to come home smelling like perfume than a Snickers bar.
@RobinMcCauley: A woman started choking in the line at Starbucks- it was so scary but thankfully someone opened another register.
@haleysfalling: so people are okay with batman wearing a cape but when i do it i "need to put my hospital gown on the right way"