@autocorrects: I don't understand why some snacks are "fun-sized", there's really nothing "fun" about having a smaller portion of food.
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@Book_Krazy: 9: Mom, why are all those girls standing on their tiptoes? Me: Because they're ballet dancers 9: Why didn't they just get taller girls?
@neiltyson: Not that anybody asked, but the Irresistible Force beats the Immovable Object — every time.
@Abfablee: My tombstone will say, "She was a people pleaser most of her life until one day she snapped and had to be taken out by the national guard."
@Jenny4ashley: [leaving store without bag] Cashier: Forgetting something? "Oh wow, how embarrassing" *walks back to give her a hug and kiss on the lips*