@autocorrects: I don't understand why some snacks are "fun-sized", there's really nothing "fun" about having a smaller portion of food.
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@GetCougarized: I'm not only the woman your Mother warned you about, I'm the one your Father highly recommended.
@KeithAshers: Hi, I'm here to see the doctor. -me Witch doctor? -reception Nooo...I think he's Jewish. -me [blank stare] Please sit down.
@Sickayduh: My dog ate a bunch of Scrabble tiles and now I gotta follow him around the yard because it's his turn
@volks__: Doctor: Any cancer in the family? Me: My mom is a Sagittarius, but I'll have to check on everyone else. Doc: ...