@JDotComma: I don't understand women. I also don't understand how a car works but I still drive it.
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@TheDairylandDon: COP: You're under arrest for owning a non-domesticated animal. ME:(looks at otter)You mean Dave? COP:...and for this weed ME: That's Dave's
@BrosConfessions: "As a student the most comforting words you'll ever hear are " I haven't started either"
@ElKnuckelhombre: A lady was spanking her kid for being a total brat in the grocery store so I had to step in and ask her if she needed me to hold her purse.