@imdaintyaf: I don't want anti-wrinkle cream, I want a serum that bestows wrinkles upon my enemies.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@fluffysuse: My ex just asked if I want to go on holiday with him and my ex mother-in-law and now I don't need Twitter because I will never stop laughing
@_TheGreatGrizz_: That moment you are trying to figure out if you are Joey, Ross, or Chandler and you realize you're Gunther.
@trojansauce: KID: are you sure this will work? ME: *holding a fishing rod with a peppermint attached* do you want a new grandpa or not?