@imdaintyaf: I don't want anti-wrinkle cream, I want a serum that bestows wrinkles upon my enemies.
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@stockejock: Pretty much the most frightening part of my day is when I get a notification that my mother has tagged me in a post on Facebook.
@fanofhell: *holds "bunny ears" over someone's head for five hours as they have their portrait painted*
@Quartzjixler: I think the inventor of the internet likely didn't intend for it to be used to post videos of simians reacting to humans doing magic tricks.
@david8hughes: Me: what make of dog is that? Her: breed Me [hands on knees]: I am, I'm just out of breath cos I ran over to ask what make of dog that is