@cathisamazing: I don’t want to be a millionaire, I just want enough money to be able to stare off into the distance while pumping gas.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Mr_Kapowski: A coworker sent me an instant message mistakenly typing "The cloak stopped working" to which I responded "OMG you can see me?!"
@Adyaces: Just slammed my foot on the pedal trying to impress a girl. Turns out she'd seen a bin opened like that before.
@just1fool: I'd like to thank the spider that descended from the bill of my baseball cap for getting me motivated today.