@Dr_awfulpants: I don't want to criticize but whoever named them brownies wasn't trying very hard.
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@ThaJawn: God: *holding a cat by its scruff* WHO MADE THIS? Resentful Angel: I don't know. You didn't? God: NO, it hates me and people Angel: weird
@KyleMcDowell86: *sees a babe about to walk through a puddle* "No no, allow me" *gets on hands and knees and drinks the entire puddle so the babe stays dry*
@neiltyson: I wonder what Cannibals & Aztecs would say, watching civilized people eat symbolic hearts of loved ones on Valentine’s Day.
@Sassafrantz: teen son: 'cause the boyz n the hood are always hard /u come talkin that trash we'll pull your card mom: take out the trash & mow the yard.