@Sassafrantz: I don't want to seem desperate after a date so I usually text him 10 years later when he has a wife and kids.
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@GingerHotDish: Maced a hobo who started pulling cables out of my computer at work. Turned out to be the hipster IT guy and now I'm in HR again.
@Ideal_Victoria: Don't just lay there... Move! Bounce! Do something!! ~ me, pleading with my hair
@carlyken: Friend apologizes for mess. Friend has immaculate house. Open her closet. Out comes 78 books, a piano and a gentleman squirrel in a top hat.