@Sassafrantz: I don't want to seem desperate after a date so I usually text him 10 years later when he has a wife and kids.
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@Rollmaninoz: Coworker: you play any sports Me: yeah but I've had to take a break from it CW: oh..Injury? Me: *thinks about broken controller* yeah..kinda
@DaddyJew: [lunch break] Gf: I have 30min Me: you thinking what im thinking? Gf: oh yea *starts undressing Me: *googles closest laser tag location