@SCbchbum: I doubt anyone’s actually “dying” from seeing a cute baby picture on FB, but we can always dream.
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@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Netflix: Are you still watching? Me: Yes. Netflix: How long has it been since you showered?
@hippieswordfish: ME: im nervous GIRLFRIEND: dont be M: what are some of his interests GF: he likes football [later] GF'S DAD: nice to meet u M: *tackles him*
@juliussharpe: Before you get married ask yourself: is this the person you want to watch stare at their phone the rest of your life?