@SCbchbum: I doubt anyone’s actually “dying” from seeing a cute baby picture on FB, but we can always dream.
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@Jandalize: Outside, contemplating life, love, and happiness and if I should tell the neighbor that his kid has been stuck in a tree for three hours.
@simoncholland: Like on Amazon or in our house? [My response when my wife asks me if I can find something for her]
@RoastedPapad: [Interview] HR - What are your strengths and weaknesses ? Me - WiFi Password and WiFi Signal.
@Super_Cynthia: 911: What's your emergency? [sounds of struggling and growling] 911: Hello?! Me: I OFFERED THIS RACCOON MY SANDWICH BUT I CHANGED MY MIND