@Eagle_Vision: I dreamed I was floating in an ocean of soda, but when I awoke I realized it was just a Fanta Sea.
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@WritePlay: Anjelica Huston got married to the inventor of autocorrect and now her legal name is Ageless Ice Houseboat.
@onedumbshark: My bologna has a first name, and a second name, and a fake name, and a sexy nickname, and exactly none of them are your business so go away.
@astutenewf: Pretty sure most of the people in coffee shops on lap tops are just writing letters to their parents asking if they can move back home.
@Playing_Dad: Daughter: Daddy, why is the moon following us around? Me: I probably owe it money like everyone else on the planet