@slimmy_shady: "I drive like lightening." "You drive fast?" "No. I hit trees."
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@Ghetto_Trophy: Hope floats but corpses don't, so remember: bricks or 25 to life. Inspirational tweet.
@RickAaron: "I ran a half marathon" sounds so much better than "I quit halfway through a marathon".
@goldengateblond: There's a crying baby on my bus and I'm all "shut up baby, you're not the one going to work."