@DanTaylorAuthor: I dropped my bowl of SpaghettiOs and it spelled 'oooooooo' on the floor. Spooky
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@Jake_Vig: Dear President of Mexico, DO NOT fall for Trump's old trick where he mumbles "guypayingtobuildthewallsayswhat?" and you say "What?"
@Token_Geezer: It hurts? That’s the body’s way of showing you it’s healing. It doesn’t hurt? That’s the body’s way of showing you it’s healing. - Doctors
@DanMentos: [first date] "Tell me two interesting things about yourself" well I lie when I'm nervous… "ok…" and I invented oatmeal