@ninjadinosaur1: I dropped my popcicle in the tub. I'm awfully sad. It was banana. Now it just tastes like bubble bath.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@pleatedjeans: Interviewer: I don't see a phone # for your reference Me: he is a duck I feed bread to at the park you will have to speak to him directly
@Reverend_Scott: Wife: "Notice anything?" Me: "Is it your hair, shoes, dress, eyelashes, mascara, lipstick, or nails?" Wife: "You forgot to wear pants."
@Vodkantots: People who are genuinely surprised when politicians behave badly should be forced to wear helmets for their own protection.
@Yankeegiant72: I like listening to Phil Collins in the shower. He gets creeped out when he sees me, though.