@Mindless4Miles: I ducked into a crowd of guys bro hugging as they left the bar, they didn't notice the stranger in their midst and I'm feeling so loved rn.
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@GlennyRodge: "ENTER PASSWORD" *types 'snowflake'* "RE-ENTER PASSWORD" *types 'snowflake'* "ERROR. PASSWORDS MUST BE IDENTICAL".
@leshnevsky: - Dad, why don't we visit Greece to see pyramids? - Son, why don't we visit school to see your geography teacher?
@KalvinMacleod: DOG 911: what's the emergency? DOG: a boy threw a ball but I can’t find it DOG 911: did u check his hand? DOG: of course I checked hi—DAMMIT