@CubanaMama82: I dunno who decided on the spelling of bologna, but it's obvious he had no idea how letters work.
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@Heather2Go: I have the body of a 25-year-old girl, a 25-year-old who has recently been eaten by a 40-year-old bear.
@KeetPotato: "if you could be any animal what would you be" a cat "why a cat" [imagines being a complete shithead for literally no reason] naps and stuff
@AndyAsAdjective: I now feel I've watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I'll be able to successfully make it in prison.
@Rhythms_n_Booze: Cop: What's the hurry? Me: Nothing officer - Just didn't want to slow you down. Cop: I was pulling you over. Me: Well I get that. Now.