@CubanaMama82: I dunno who decided on the spelling of bologna, but it's obvious he had no idea how letters work.
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@TheTobbie: CASHIER: 300. ME: Ha, like the movie. CASHIER: Nice one, Seinfeld. ME: Ha, like the comedian. CASHIER: ... ME: Ha, like a mime...
@INDlAN_: If you think it hurts to lose a boyfriend/girlfriend, you've clearly never lost close to 500 GB's worth of data on your hard drive.
@ThingsDrakeDo: A shopping mall. Drake walks past a man dressed as Santa, who yells out, "Ho! Ho! Ho!" "Yeah," Drake sighs as he keeps walking. "She was."
@graceful_asfuck: Her: you take nice selfies Me: so I'm vain Her: no you're photogenic Me: oh so I'm ugly in real life Her: just say thanks Me: oh so I'm rude