@crunchenhancer: I eat my Chinese food just like any other American, with chopsticks, one grain of rice at a time.
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@shkeeber: My job blocked the Favstar website and I'm not sure if I should quit or take hostages. Haha! Jk. I'm totally taking hostages.
@tuckerflodman: *Mom makes me take out the garbage* *Garbage and I begin to date* *I start taking things too fast* *Garbage dumps me*
@daemonic3: JESUS: [walks on water] JUDAS: Actually, the body is 60% water so it's only 40% miracle JESUS: You're killing me, Judas JUDAS: Actually..
@Cheeseboy22: The same people that made fun of me for my calculator watch in high school are now wearing Apple watches.