@salamingia: I feel bad for airport security workers. I'm going to make their job easier today by not wearing underwear.
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@atanya1111: So Kanye West said he is an intellectual who doesn't read books. Which I get because I am an an athlete that rarely moves.
@KateWhineHall: Dear parents who line up 45 minutes early in the school pick-up line, I don't understand.
@KimDotcom: "The problem with quotes on the Internet is that they're not always accurate." - Albert Einstein
@Jay_FrickinLynn: Me: Hi Kid: M: Still? It's been a week K: YOUR FIRST INSTINCT DURING A CAR ACCIDENT WAS TO PROTECT YOUR PHONE! M: You didn't die. Calm down.