@jakob_huber: I feel bad for tailgating this minivan so closely but once I started watching Kung Fu Panda on his back seat TV I had to see it through.
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@NicestHippo: In my day cartoons made sense. Chipmunks did all the rescue rangering and a rich duck swam in gold coins like they were water
@jonnysun: [whole foods] WHITE GIRL: excus me do u hav pumpkin EMPLOYEE: (hands her a pumpkin) here WHITE GIRL: no no no. PUMPKIN. its a type of spice
@TribalSpaceCat: Once I saved 10 kittens from a burning building and yes all the people died but look how cute they are
@JohnHilsen: Crazy but true: Over 80 percent of twins seperated at birth have the same exact birthday.