@heykarlin: I feel bad for the children of Vegans because no one gets found when their picture's on the back of unsweetened organic almond milk.
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@bobvulfov: demon: ur punishment in hell has been tailored just for u me: ok demon: u have to enter a long wifi password for eternity & it'll never work
@TheHyyyype: An apple a day keeps the doctor away. A banana will scare off most lawyers. Eat a pomegranate and every architect within a three-mile radius will shit himself.
@1CleverClogs: My diet plan is just watching my 400 pound coworker lick her lips and sweat as she describes her dinner from last night.