@robfee: I feel like Frosted Flakes gives kids an unreasonable expectation of how friendly tigers are when you try to feed them a bowl of cereal.
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@squirrel74wkgn: *kids running down the stairs* DADDY, DADDY, I HEARD TOYS BUZZING IN YOUR ROOM AND MOMMY SAY, "SANTA CAME EARLY THIS YEAR."
@BuckyIsotope: *moon landing* That's one small step for man, one giant leap for updog "What's updog?" NOT MUCH JUST WALKING ON THE MOON WHAT'S UP WITH YOU
@Brampersandon_: BOSS: You forgot my birthday didn't you? ME: *lighting candle* No what gave u that idea? BOSS: idk maybe that candle stuck in a urinal cake?