@robfee: I feel like Frosted Flakes gives kids an unreasonable expectation of how friendly tigers are when you try to feed them a bowl of cereal.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@theshamingofjay: When Bruce Banner gets constipated do you think he turns into the Hulk? - just one of the thoughts I have during important business meetings
@PhoenixRises69: iPhone 5s fitted with fingerprint recognition. I'll sleep easier knowing that if my phone gets stolen, they'll likely chop off my hand too.
@MsSugar_Kisses: "You should leave your wife..." The secret note I leave on my husband's windshield every morning...
@Robert_Beau: The reason that there are so many tweets about cats is that people with dogs go outside.