@SteveSackington: I feel sorry for all the responsible bulls out there minding their own business and just looking to buy some nice china.
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@KalvinMacleod: ME: all the King's horses and men couldn't put u back together HUMPTY DUMPTY: what now M: [opening package of bacon] I'll think of something
@tastefactory: People Magazine sounds like something aliens pretending to be humans would call their magazine.
@mjkspeaks: [argument w/girlfriend] HER: you know what your problem is? ME: no, *grabs pen and begins taking notes* but i'm about to find out