@SteveSackington: I feel sorry for all the responsible bulls out there minding their own business and just looking to buy some nice china.
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@RorynotRoy: The girl that just walked by gave my dog a double take like she thought she might've gone to high school with him.
@Up2Long: I just did my budget for June. If I don't buy food ... I won't need toilet paper. I think I'm on to something here.
@ladyignoble: Note to younger women: Remember, men are always after just one thing: your snacks. Do not leave the refrigerator unlocked.
@IamEnidColeslaw: I do this really cute thing where I yawn right before my girlfriend kisses me so I almost swallow her face