@rolldiggity: I fill my pockets with glitter so when people ask me for money, I can turn them out to show that I'm broke, but still a little fancy.
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@NikiWithIssues: There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note "Don't eat me".Now there's an empty plate and a note "Don't tell me what to do"
@WilliamAder: If you get a gift from me, there may or may not be a pair of scissors between the wrapping and the gift. I'm gonna need those back.
@MrSpoonicorn: *picks up the bagel again* sorry i gotta take this one *leaves office & talks on the bagel for 15 minutes solid*
@comedyfish: If you give someone some Beethoven CDs for a gift and they don't like it, you can always take them Bach