@rolldiggity: I fill my pockets with glitter so when people ask me for money, I can turn them out to show that I'm broke, but still a little fancy.
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@samalmightysam: -I love you! -Me too! -You too what? -What you said -What did I say? -That -Say it -What? -I want u to say it -Well -and? -what? -Say it -it
@dave_cactus: [at my dad's funeral after he drowns] ME: *places a wreath made of a life preserver on the coffin* It's what he would have wanted...
@RocketRankoon: "So, do you play any instruments?" Me: *slaps knees for 30 minutes straight without breaking eye contact*