@rolldiggity: I fill my pockets with glitter so when people ask me for money, I can turn them out to show that I'm broke, but still a little fancy.
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@iamspacegirl: My son loves lizard facts but he can't quite say 'lizard' so he randomly makes statements like "Wizards protect themselves with camouflage".
@DVSblast: I HAVE DECIDED TO MAKE A CONSCIOUS DECISION NOT TO HAVE MY MIND "BLOWN" ANYMORE. IF DINOSAURS COME BACK & I SEE ONE I'LL JUST BE LIKE "GOOD"
@Death_Buddy: *gets to hell* [In earshot of Satan] I HATE ICE CREAM AND WATCHING TV, DAMN THAT WOULD BE REAL TORTURE FOR ME. OH AND BEER, I ALSO HATE BEER
@thestlouisan: My grandpa slept in snow in the Battle of the Bulge & I'm considering throwing out this cup of water bc it has some tiny floaty things in it