@rolldiggity: I fill my pockets with glitter so when people ask me for money, I can turn them out to show that I'm broke, but still a little fancy.
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@DanMentos: "I got expelled" How? "I wrote 2+2=41 on the whiteboard" Ok that's dumb but- "So my prof told me to go back up there…" Oh no "and rub 1 out"
@Jerrypleasure: [first day as a doctor] me: u have breaked both your legs patient: damn! so now? me: we will be putting ur legs in a bowl of rice
@ellle_em: Dog: BORK BORK BORK Human: STOP BARKING How Dog Interprets this exchange Dog: LOUD NOISES Human: ALSO LOUD NOISES Dog: O COOL WE R MAKIN LOUD NOISES TOGETHER NOW FREN LETS KEEP GOIN Human: MORE LOUD NOISES Dog: UR SO GOOD AT THIS