@rolldiggity: I fill my pockets with glitter so when people ask me for money, I can turn them out to show that I'm broke, but still a little fancy.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@lazerdoov: I hope my boss asks me to draw a bunch of cats wearing top hats today cause then I'll already be done my work and I can leave early
@mortimermaiden: [humane society] Me: Hi, I'd like one medium sized dog please. Vet: That's not— Me: Oops, I'm sorry. One "grande" dog please.
@Muaythaigirlie: Had a date planned for tonight but he got electrocuted at work. I'm serious The things men do to avoid hanging out with me is amazing.