@Robert_Beau: I finally had to tell the dog he was adopted.
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@ag_loco: Things I haven't seen in a while: 1) the 2yo I'm babysitting today 2) a man 3) my waist-line 4) my imaginary goat, Bill 5) my sanity
@KeetPotato: wife: "no" me: "its a good name" wife: "keith we're not calling the dog sarah jessica barker, keep thinking" me: wife: me: "woofie goldberg"
@TheTweetOfGod: Jesus was the original child star who fell in with the wrong crowd and died young.
@stevezorz: Trump's gonna be sooo mad when he finds out that China realized building a Great Wall didn't keep foreigners out 400 years before he did.