@NoogsCorner: I finally opened the condom in my wallet and it had a beard.
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@dafloydsta: WIFE: Your heavy drinking is making you delusional ME: *turns to friend* Do you think that's true? WOLVERINE: Nah, don't listen to her
@KalvinMacleod: I accidentally took an extra step when I reached the top of the stairs and now I'm in a marching band.
@ceejoyner: Anything guitarists say while leaning back to back during a solo is protected by law like confession or attorney client privilege.
@rolldiggity: 1. Put "Out of Order" sign on a staircase. 2. Wait until someone says, "Stairs can't be out of order!" and uses them. 3. Release the bees.