@MissNaughty1801: I find it inconsiderate that policemen always ask if I had been drinking but they never bother to ask if I had anything to eat at all
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@heroinsdemise: Why do baby clothes have pockets? I've never heard a baby say: "cigarettes,phone and keys alright let's go"
@kDuncanG: Don't tell me what your cats' names are, I'll call'em what I want. Oh, Mittens & Snuggles? WRONG. THAT'S WILDSTYLE & THAT'S SNACKMOUTH.
@theevilwriter: The local news says we can tell there's been a power failure with their new app. Call me old fashioned but the lack of lights tips me off.