@3sunzzz: I find it odd that when someone dies we refer to them as late, my late Aunt Polly. Aunt Polly isn't late, she's not coming.
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@Kim_pulsive: I had sex twice in 24hours and I'm so glad that I have 4000 people to brag about it to
@Bandersnaaatch: There's a bird in the yard and she's shaking her tail feathers in hope of attracting a mate. HE SHOULD LOVE YOU FOR YOUR BRAIN, I yell.
@NourHadidi: How to stop checking someone's Facebook page: 1. Delete your Facebook profile 2. Break your phone 3. Give away your laptop 4. Die
@dru0887: If someone is jogging at 7am on a Sunday - it's because they've just killed someone right?